For the last eight months, I've been planning. Getting the nest ready. Reading up (as I do). Largely excited with a tiny bit of natural anxiety mixed in. Friends and colleagues (and of course the daily strangers) have remarked about how well I am doing. How happy I seem. I am.
When I got engaged a few months ago, I failed to immediately envision my perfect wedding (to the disappointment of many).
Within days, we were asked whether we had a date yet. The answer was no and continued to be no for a few stressful months. I didn't know what kind of dress I wanted right away and I sure as hell didn't have a color scheme (orange/grey? aqua/tangerine? what about hot pink and yellow?!). I have friends who have been thinking about their big day for years. They are ready for it. Me, I'm beginning to have a clue. And the thing is, I am really excited to be married. But I have realized that the more interesting thing about all of this is understanding what marriage really means to me and how it changes my relationship with Gerry.