Touching Bark

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It starts with a busting out sort of feeling

Like drinking from a water hose and finally turning away

Taking in in in until I need to let out

I bust out and I walk so fast I’m almost running

Straight to the woods between my apartment and the water

I had never been there before the quarantine

No reason. Too busy. Distracted.

 

Now I feel what I have been missing

I find comfort in trees

Tall trees that have been here long before you or I or even our parents’ parents’ parents

I look down at my body and I’m glowing green 

I look up and see that sunlight is spreading over millions of leaves 

Setting a warm herbaceous filter over my eyes, my smile, my arms, my torso and legs.

My idea of dreamy has always been lying in a tuft of grass while blinking slowly and watching leaves move overhead

Spots of light, spots of darkness and changing shapes as the wind shhhhhhhhhhs through it all.

 

I walk and breathe deeply

Centering myself and feeling my racing heart turn into a steady and slower beat

Feeling calm work its way through from chest to toes

Tightness makes way to softness

The scream in my body dissipates into a sigh

The sigh to a joyful and surprised laugh

And I look at my witnesses, the trees, all around me

In their company, I quickly find ease.

 

I walk up to the biggest one I can find and look around

I am alone 

I adjust my mask and step forward

This one because of its height and the pattern on its bark

Striking Vs across and up and down, it almost looks braided

Deep Vs that feel like long life

Like wisdom

Like strength

I run my fingers down one of the ridges

And I feel sparkles shoot from my hand down to my elbow

An alive being touching another alive being

That has been here so much longer than me

I find myself swelling

The emotion that comes with touch

And aliveness

And knowing that we and the trees share certain strengths 

We are resilient

We witness

We have staying power

We anchor

We reach our limbs out to others 

We sway with strong winds

And we always come back to center

I keep my hand on this beautiful bark and ask for the wisdom of trees

I ask for strength

And endurance

And peace. 

And I ask for the knowing that comes from generations of withstanding violent storms that eventually break into sunny skies.